fbpx

5 ways to stop feeling frustrated when riding

by | Apr 26, 2021 | Equestrian Coach, Rider Confidence, Rider Mindset | 0 comments

Understanding how we process sensory information can significantly influence how we experience nerves, anxiety, and fear when riding our horse. We use our ‘internal representational systems’, which refer to the primary ways we perceive and internalise our experiences through our senses, to make provide information about our experiences. Our mind filters and uses this information to make meaning of our subjective experience, as a point of reference for the future.

Our internal representational systems are visual (seeing), auditory (hearing), kinesthetic (feeling), gustatory (tasting), and olfactory (smelling). The processed information from each of these senses will impact how your unconscious mind processes your world and have an impact on how you feel about yourself, your horse and riding. 

Visual (Seeing)

If you tend to think in pictures, you might visualise potential problems while riding, like imagining a fall or picturing the horse becoming spooked. These vivid mental images can make you feel more anxious. To manage this, you can refocus your mind on visualising exactly what you actually want to happen, in as much detail as you can. Your mind really doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined, and will respond to precisely what you tell it! So using this to your advantage and use your brilliant imagination to create a visualised scenario where things happen exactly as you want them to, and where you manage any surprises with ease and confidence. 

Auditory (Hearing)

If you’re sensitive to sounds, the external noise of the horse’s hooves, your horse’s breathing, or sounds from the environment will all add to how you experience riding your horse. Internal sounds, such as your self-talk are also an important factor, since we often don’t realise quite how we speak to ourselves in our mind! Listening to calming music (where it’s safe to do so, obviously!), and positively managing your self-talk before and during your ride will help boost your confidence.

Kinaesthetic (Feeling)

If you are someone who is highly attuned to your feelings and emotions, you might be acutely aware of every physical sensation in your body and how it makes you feel. You might be aware of a knot in your stomach, tightness in your throat, or a very real feeling of having your legs turn to jelly! These type of physical sensations quickly transmit an alert to your mind, triggering nerves, anxiety and even fear. Practising deep breathing or other relaxation techniques can help you manage these physical sensations and reduce your anxiety.

Gustatory (Tasting)

As riders, the sense of taste is one we don’t often think about, and it’s closely tied to memory, where certain flavours can trigger emotional responses. I know of riders who chew minty gum before they ride (never chew gum while riding, as it is a choking hazard), and that minty sensation on their tongue can anchor feelings of readiness and confidence. Being mindful of what you eat or drink before riding and choosing flavours that you find comforting or refreshing can help trigger a shift in how you feel. 

Olfactory (Smelling)

Certain smells can evoke powerful emotional responses. I don’t know about you, but I love the slightly warm, sweaty smell of horses who have just worked (that sounds weird, doesn’t it?!). As a child, I dreamed of the smell horses, of leather tack, and even now the first fly spray of the summer brings a reminiscence of happy hacking days. Find those smells which make you feel good and remind you of happy times, then make use of these whenever you can. 

Recognising which of these sensory inputs resonates with you most will provide you with simple tools to improve your riding confidence. By consciously adjusting how you seek out and use these sensory inputs, you can help yourself feel more in control and less anxious while riding. 

Preferences

While each of us might have a preference for one or more internal representational systems, such as visual, auditory, or kinesthetic, it’s important to note that we don’t exclusively use just one; our mind gathers and uses information from all of them. Think of it like having a favourite tool in a toolbox; even though you might prefer one tool, you still use the others when the situation requires it.

For instance, even if you primarily process your experience in a primarily visual way by imagining scenarios and pictures in your mind, your mind will still also pay attention to what you hear, the physical sensations you feel, the tastes and smells that surround you. Each sense provides a different piece of the puzzle, contributing to a fuller understanding and experience of your environment.

This means when you’re riding your horse and trying to manage anxiety, even though you might focus on using your preferred sensory channel, such as visualising calm and successful rides, you’ll also benefit from tuning into the sounds that calm you, the feel of the horse beneath you, and even calming scents or flavours. Using a combination of all your senses can help create a richer, more grounded experience that can be more effective in managing your nerves.

Simple Tips

Visual

Focus on shifting your mindset by vividly imagining positive outcomes. Instead of letting your mind linger on potential challenges, picture yourself riding smoothly, handling challenges with ease, and finishing your ride successfully. This practice of visualisation can help build your confidence and reassurance. 

Auditory

Integrate calming sounds into your daily routine to help soothe your nerves. This could be as simple as listening to the radio while you tack up, or repeating positive affirmations to yourself such as “I am calm and in control” or “I trust my abilities and my horse.” These auditory cues can help create a mental environment of calmness and positivity.

Kinesthetic

Use physical relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety and physical tension. Before riding, try doing some gentle stretches, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation—where you tense and then relax different muscle groups. This not only relaxes your body but also prepares your mind for a more comfortable and focused ride.

Gustatory

Choose flavours that evoke a sense of calm and enjoyment for you. This might mean having a peppermint or a piece of dark chocolate before you ride or sipping herbal tea like chamomile which is known for its soothing properties. These tastes can trigger positive sensory memories and help calm your nerves.

Olfactory

Introduce a comforting and familiar scent into your riding environment. This could be applying a dab of lavender oil on your wrist or adding a few drops of tea tree oil to your riding gear. The smell of chamomile can also be soothing. These scents can significantly enhance your emotional state by triggering positive associations and reducing stress, creating a more relaxing atmosphere for both you and your horse.

By actively engaging these sensory strategies, you can better manage your emotions and enhance your overall riding experience. Each tip is designed to help you focus, relax, and enjoy your time with your horse, making your rides more pleasant and successful.

 

In conclusion, understanding how your internal representational systems influence your emotions can help you manage your nerves and anxieyt around riding. By recognising your preferred internal representational systems, you can use different strategies to feel calmer and more in control, so you can become a more confident rider. 

Every rider has experienced frustration at some point when riding. Sometimes frustration can feel like a BIG emotion, and trigger a downwards spiral into beating ourselves up and feeling miserable. Getting frustrated and cross with ourselves, or worse with our horses, never leads to a positive outcome. 

So what can we do to overcome frustration when we’re riding?

Stop!

As soon as you recognise that you’re feeling frustration, press pause on what you’re doing. Interrupt the current pattern and find some space away from what you’re trying to achieve. 

For example, maybe you’re working on your horse’s balance through canter transitions and it’s just not getting any better today. Ride forwards to walk, relax your reins regroup. 

According to Albert Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome! So stop what you’re doing and explore what’s really going on.

Ask

Use the questions below to help you explore what is happening:

  • What specifically are you trying to achieve?
  • What process have you followed?
  • What went well? 
  • What one small thing could you change to test whether it works?
  • Why are you feeling frustrated? Why specifically?
  • What language are you using around your riding and your horse?
  • How else could you consider this situation?
  • What is the broader context of this situation?
  • How far have you come to this point?
  • What if everything you’re going through now, is preparing you for what you want?

Check your language

I meet many riders who are full of ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’, and have extremely high, often unrealistic expectations of themselves, which simply means that they put themselves under ridiculous amounts of pressure. 

Most riders ride because they love it; the feeling they get, the joy in having fun with their horse and the rapport they have with their horse. But frustration undermines all of that.

Why should you do XYZ? Who says? Dig around to find the driver for your frustration. 

It could be that you have done XYZ quite happily in the past, and now it is different. That’s OK, it just shows that you’re older and wiser, nothing more, nothing less.

Follow the frustration

If you’re pushing hard to achieve something and getting frustrated because it’s not happening quickly/well enough, know that there is a lesson to be learned from this experience. 

  • What are you missing? 
  • What have you forgotten how to do? 
  • Where is your mind automatically deleting, distorting or generalising things? 

Make life simpler for yourself and your horse, take the pressure off and go and enjoy the basics.

Stop being so hard on yourself

If you’re reading this, you’re likely not an elite rider (although you are obviously very welcome if you are!). Most riders have a career, family, mortgage etc. to try and keep on top of, all while trying their very best to be the best version of themselves. And it’s hard sometimes. 

Think about setting realistic expectations of yourself, in context with the rest of your life. Ultimately, we ride because we love it; if you don’t, then either find a way to get that passion back, or make a decision not to ride. Either way, do what’s right for you. There are no rules. 

In my experience, riders are a hardy breed. We work incredibly hard to keep and ride our horses, offering the very best home possible for them. But equally, we are ridiculously hard on ourselves, and rarely put ourselves first. Be kind to yourself, accept that no-one is perfect (ever!) and let go of frustration; it’s a waste of your time and energy. You can choose to turn it around.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so do get in touch via alison@theeverydayequestrian.co.uk and please feel free to share on social media if you’ve found this article useful!

Ready to learn more?

FREE Rider Confidence Guide

I’ve created a FREE downloadable guide, packed with some of my most effective techniques, to help YOU become more positive and excited about riding again.

Everything you need to become a confident rider

  • Overcome your nerves, anxiety and those pesky ‘what ifs’ around riding your horse
  • Manage your mindset and your emotions, so you can be the rider your horse needs and wants
  • Follow a step-by-step proven framework to grow your confidence, whatever your starting point
  • Tailor your learning experience to meet your specific needs in your situation
  • Join an incredible community of riders who build each other up and share our successes along the way

The Rider's Guide to Managing Your Inner Voice

🐴 Are you really hard on yourself as a rider? Beat yourself up for every mistake? Hold yourself to unrealistic standards and struggle with perfectionism?

➡️ Break free from your ‘Negative Nelly’ inner voice and discover a more enjoyable way to ride with confidence! 

Dive into our exclusive Ebook, “Rider’s Guide to Managing Your Inner Voice,” and reignite your love for riding. 

✅ Conquer those nagging thoughts of ‘shoulds’ and self-sabotage

✅ Let go of perfectionism and avoidance tactics

✅ Transform your mindset and start making the best memories together with your horse

👉 Don’t let excuses hold you back any longer. Grab your copy now and start riding with confidence! 🚀🐎

 

Related Articles: